


I Didn't Mean To Kiss You (Except I Totally Did)

by themadtilde



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Divergence, Drunken Confessions, Fluffy, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Post COHF, Raphael doesn't care but he does, Raphael tries to hate it, Simon's adorable and drunk, Very drunk Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 19:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14118858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadtilde/pseuds/themadtilde
Summary: "Rapunzel … Raphaunzel , let - let down your hair. Wait, let out yourfangs.” He giggled.(Inspired by the scene in CoHF where Raphael gives Simon spiked blood.)





	I Didn't Mean To Kiss You (Except I Totally Did)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers!  
> This is set in the book!verse but you don't need to read the books to understand. Okay, I might've snuck in some references to past book events, but they're not of importance.
> 
> The original prompt was: WHAT IF WHEN RAPHAEL GAVE SIMON THE BLOOD THAT MADE HIM DRUNK IN CITY OF HEAVENLY FIRE INSTEAD OF GOING TO IZZY’S HE JUST CONTINUED KNOCKING ON RAPHAEL’S DOOR UNTIL HE SHOWS UP AGAIN, READY TO YELL AT SIMON. BUT. HE GETS CUT OFF. BC. SIMON IS V DRUNK. AND VERY IN LOVE WITH HIM. AND V MUCH KISSING HIM IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE STREET.
> 
> and I changed it a little because, well, if Simon were to kiss Raphael in front of the whole street, Raphael would probably die because of the sun. And I don't remember where I found this prompt but whoever who wrote it, cred to them for the idea!!
> 
> This fic was written several years ago and English isn't my native language, plus this isn't beta'd, so please excuse any mistakes!  
> Oh and I know Clary's originally supposed to be with him but ... meh. She just disappeared. I didn't think about her when I wrote this.
> 
> I don't own Mortal Instruments - it belongs solely to the awesome Cassandra Clare!
> 
>  
> 
> **And for non-book readers, here is a quick explanation: Simon and Clary went to Raphael's house in Idris on order to get some blood, since Simon's starving. Raphael does give Simon a bottle of blood but it appears to be expired or messed with, as it makes Simon act completely drunk and tipsy. Canonically, he goes to Isabelle's house, asking her to let out her hair and calling her his "fair lady" and proclaiming his love for her. Now I just changed Isabelle to Raphael, hehe.**

Simon stumbled and swayed back and forth, vision blurry. But he recognized the house before him, and knew that he had come to the right place. The star for the Children of the Night was visible - although somewhat blurry to him - on the front of the house. In his dizzy state, he managed to stagger all the way up to the front door.

He knew that he looked like a mess - his hair was tousled and dirty and clothes and knees scraped and bruised after all the times he either had fallen or just leant against a wall for support.

Now, he simply threw himself forward and put his whole weight on the door with a satisfying thud.

“Raphaeeeel” he called in a slurry voice. “Oopeeeen.”

He made an effort to knock, but he more slammed his whole arm repeatedly on the door.

“Raaaphhie. Raphaeel.”

No one answered. There were probably people behind him now, or maybe peeking out their windows, wondering what on earth the drunk-looking boy did, leaning against a door and kicking on it? But Simon’s drugged state couldn’t really care.

“Rapunzel … _Raphaunzel_ , let - let down your hair. Wait, let out your _fangs_.” He giggled.

Silence.

“ I know … about … the blood. Open! Raphael! Where art thou? You are my fair lady - well, not lady, maybe vampire - and I am here to win your favor! For we are meant to be, and I don't care if I shall be executed for harboring this affection - I cannot hide my feelings for you anymore!”

Simon giggled to himself. His voice was funny. Especially when giggling.

“Oh, Raphael!” he said in a sing-song voice, feeling both fuzzy and warm and happy and tingly. "I love you, Raphael Santiago! I love you and I am not going to walk away until you tell me you love me too!" Just as he was about to retreat and then slam his body on the door again, it opened from inside.

Simon fell forwards, right into a surprised Raphael’s arms.

“Daylighter” commented Raphael, trying to keep his face blank but a hint of bewilderment was visible anyways. Instantly, he reached for Simon’s arms in order to untangle himself from the limp boy. But Simon only giggled and snuck his arms around Raphael’s waist, clinging to him. 

“Clary was right,” Simon said, gazing up at Raphael. “You really _do_ never call anyone by their name.”

“Dios, _idota,_  get off me!” Raphael hissed, reaching for Simon’s hands to loosen them.

This time, Simon let go of him and took a swaying step inside the hall.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Raphael hissed, quickly shutting the door before any sunlight could reach  him. “It’s practically suicide to come here!”

Simon rolled his eyes and turned to look at Raphael. He had a hard time focusing, but could see the vampire cross his arms with a typical Raphael-look. Meaning: an annoyed, impatient and unimpressed stare.

“The blood” he slurred, staggering a little. Raphael quickly grabbed Simon’s shoulders, preventing him from falling over.

“The blood?”

Hadn’t Simon’s vision been blurred and unfocused, he would’ve seen the slightly guilty/knowing/pleased look on Raphael’s face. But now, he only grinned and reached for Raphael’s hair.

“I know … there was something wrong with it” he mumbled, combing his fingers through the black mop of hair. “The blood, I mean. Not your hair … it’s so soft.”  Raphael scowled and his hand flew up to snatch Simon’s wrist.

“Stop touching my hair, _idiota_. And stand up properly!”

Simon did the opposite by tripping over his own, tangled feet and falling into Raphael’s arms again.

 _“¿Qué he hecho para merecer esto?_ ” groaned Raphael, exasperated, and Simon blinked up at him, clearly confused by the Spanish.

“That’s … that’s kind of hot,” he grinned, not noticing how Raphael’s eyes widened. “If I only understood what you said, and you can keep talking to me like that.” He gave Raphael a flirtatious wink - although it wasn’t very smooth because he had a hard time focusing.

Raphael managed to wrestle Simon off him, and turned him so he had his back against the wall.

“I asked what I have done to deserve this,” Raphael grunted. “I admit it - the blood I gave you wasn’t the best out there. But it was blood, and you’re alive. So please go now, before I have to force you out.” He let go of Simon, and was surprised when the boy actually managed to not fall over. Rubbing his eyes, Simon tilted his head and looked at the boy before him. Raphael’s expression was resolute and he glowered fiercely at Simon. But his dark curls stood like a black halo on his head, and he was still barefoot, just like he had been when Simon knocked on his door twenty minutes ago, asking for blood.

“You’re cute, you know that?” Simon said out of the blue. Raphael looked startled, clearly taken aback by the blunt statement.

_The blood must’ve been worse than I thought._

“Simon, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Leave before you get in serious trouble. Where is that Fairchild girl of yours?” Raphael tried to push Simon towards the door, but Simon refused to move.

“She’s go-one. She can’t tell me what to do, nu-uh, and neither can you.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Raphael prayed to whatever almighty force that existed up there that the Daylighter would _just freaking leave_ before he or Raphael did something they would regret. But when he opened his eyes, Simon was still in his sight, and he did apparently not mind Raphael’s snarky and harsh demeanor. Instead, he hiccuped and giggled giddily.

“I feel funny. Like I can do anything” he said happily.

“Yes, that is usually the side effects of being drugged,” said Raphael impatiently.

“I can do anything” Simon chirped. “I can do this.”

Raphael was too irritated to even notice Simon move at first.  Not until Simon’s hands were on either side of Raphael’s face, not until Simon’s  nose almost bumped into his, and not until a pair of lips were pressed against his, he reacted.

First, he moved to push Simon off him. He wasn’t used to being this close to anyone, and despite the softness of Simon’s lips, Raphael felt uncomfortable. But Simon only made a little sound and pressed himself even closer, and Raphael found himself not doing anything to stop it. He didn’t exactly go in for the kiss - he simply put his hands on Simon’s hips and held him in place. But … it felt nice, and he couldn’t help but smile a little into the kiss. He felt his fangs, they were itching to be exposed, but he held them back and simply enjoyed the warm and sweet, soothing feeling of lips against his.

And then, Simon pulled back and Raphael stared into the other vampire’s brown irises. Simon’s eyes weren’t as unfocused anymore, and his pupils had retreated slightly to their normal size.

“Simon?” Raphael tried somewhatshakily, suddenly very aware of their closeness.

Simon’s gaze swept over Raphael’s face, as if he first now realized what he was doing.

Raphael held his breath - was Simon going to step back, disgusted and probably knock the door down in his attempt to run?

“Oh my … by the Angel” Simon breathed, suddenly seemingly clear in the head. “Did I just …”

Raphael let go of Simon’s hips, and took a step back.

“You were drunk, Daylighter” he said coldly, body stiffening. “It doesn’t matter.”

Simon touched his own lips. “But … but I …” he stuttered, looking lost.

“Yes, okay Daylighter, you kissed me. You freaking kissed me, and I don’t know why you did it but you were sort of drugged. I know that, at least” Raphael snapped. “Go, now.”

Simon frowned and shook his head slowly.

“I was drugged” he agreed, “but I do know what I did. And why.” He looked ashamed suddenly, and raked a hand through his hair. “I- I mean, I didn’t exactly plan on it. The kiss, I mean. I don’t know why I did it, but you just stood there … and yeah. I just did it.”

“No need to explain yourself, Daylighter. I-”

“Yes!” Simon exclaimed, frustrated. “I need to explain myself! Because I’ve sort of wanted to do that for a while, and I - well, I just never had the courage.”

“Courage to what?”

Simon looked down. Had blood still been pumping in his veins, he would’ve blushed. He thought of when Raphael had taunted him for believing that Simon had a crush on Isabelle.

“ _La belle Isabelle”_ , had the vampire said mockingly, and a few days prior to that, they had been sitting together in Maureen’s cell, with Raphael contemplating Simon’s and Maureen’s death out loud. But he had actually been the one to free Simon from Maureen’s claws, and he had shown Simon a more human, empathic side of him when he discussed his thoughts about Maureen’s leadership. Despite their somewhat eerie encounter outside the Accords hall, after Jonathan’s attack on the Adamant Citadel, where Raphael had asked if the Simon thought the Shadowhunters would be offended if they fed on their fallen warriors (Simon was still wondering if Raphael had been serious about that), Simon couldn’t deny the fact that Raphael’s snarky and unimpressed behaviour was ridiculously attractive and intriguing.

“Kiss you” he muttered. “I didn’t plan to do it, but I meant it. I liked it. I … I like you.”

Raphael stared doe-eyed at him, before he composed himself and put on his usual, disbelieving and condescending look.

“Are you sure you’re entirely sober, fledgling?”

Simon glared at him. “Yes.”

Raphael raised one eyebrow.

“Well, not entirely” Simon muttered. “But I know what I’m saying.”

“You do?” Raphael demanded. “Then why are you saying such nonsense, telling me such unbelievable love confessions?”

“Maybe because I mean them!” Simon snapped, suddenly irritated. “I might’ve been under the influence of the blood, Raphael, but I’m starting to sober up a little. Not much … but at least enough to have this conversation.”

Raphael shook his head. “You are drunk” he stated. Simon opened his mouth to protest, but Raphael silenced him by simply raising his hand.

“You are drunk” he repeated, lowering his hand and and smirking slightly. “And we should really clear this up when you’ve had a nap.”

“Nap? For the Angel’s sake, Raphael, I’m not going to take a nap after-”

“Yes, you are” Raphael cut him off. “You’re going to be nice and quiet, Daylighter, and I might let you sleep in my bed.”

Simon blinked. “Your bed?”

“My bed” said Raphael. “Are your ears not functioning? I still am under the impression that you blabber too much about uninteresting nonsense, and you _are_ an awful vampire, but I do invite you to stay here. For a nap. Not more.”

“I …” Simon hesitated, eyes darting between Raphael and the corridor leading further into the house.

“Tick tock, Simon. The offer won’t stand forever.”

Simon shook his head and decided.

“I’ll stay, then.” He pushed past Raphael, and took a step into the corridor. “Where’s your room?”

“I’ll show you there” Raphael grumbled. While leading a slightly astounded Simon through the halls, he suddenly added in a sour voice:

“This does not mean I like you back  Daylighter.”

Simon flashed him a grin, suddenly in a very good mood.

“I like it better when you call me Simon. Which you’ve already done, three times I think.”

“So?”

Simon’s grin grew bigger.

“It’s like you want to call me Daylighter to seem all cool and unaffected, but your heart thinks otherwise” he told Raphael.

“That was the cheesiest and most disgusting thing you’ve said so far, Daylighter” Raphael emphasized. “Even worse than when you said that I have an incredibly charming personality.”

“I was sarcastic then. And it’s true though,” Simon beamed, and _oh fine,_ he was still a bit drunk because his vision blurred suddenly and he stumbled into the wall, falling heavily on his side.

Raphael looked down at the disoriented boy on the floor before him, and shook his head.

“¿Por qué me gusta un vampiro tan estúpido?” he asked himself as he bent down and scooped up Simon in his arms, carrying him bridal style. Simon didn’t mind being manhandled, but he did reach out a finger to poke Raphael on the nose.

“I know you called me stupid,” he complained, but a smile was gracing his lips and Raphael let out a huff of laughter.

“And you accused me of being jealous before, so I call it even now. Just … go to sleep, _idiota_ ,” he said fondly, dropping Simon down onto his bed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ¿Por qué me gusta un vampiro tan estúpido?  
> = Why do I like such a stupid vampire?
> 
> When Raphael says that Simon called him jealous, I'm referring to a part of the book where Simon accuses him of being, well, jealous.
> 
> And some of Simon's drunk sayings ("I love you, Raphael Santiago!") is actually canon, just with Isabelle's name instead.  
> I did so much research in the books for this...
> 
> I just miss the book characters so much and I think they are more interesting and complex than the shallow show characters. The show is okay, but I prefer the books - they are truly amazing. Especially the plot and the way Cassie portrays the characters. Raphael's so quirky, cute and threatening all the time. He's like the Shadow world's counterpart to Nico di Angelo. A brooding, dark cinnamon roll who must be protected at all costs.
> 
> I had to forcefully stop myself from writing more - it was so fun to write in the book!verse again and I definitely think the books are worth checking out.
> 
> Also the Spanish is Google Translate'd, so any mistakes there are on me ...
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!
> 
> If there are any book fans out there, let me know! We have to stay together now that the show is growing bigger! (Nothing wrong with the show, but the books will be forever in my heart)


End file.
